Some quotes jotted down while watching some of my favourite sitcoms (Blackadder, Thin Blue Line, Fawlty Towers, Married with Children, Birds of a Feather)
"What I drank last night would have floored a rhinoceros!"
"Yes, if it was allergic to lemonade"
"They're still engaged in a search party for his brain"
"I wouldn't be surprised if there is room in his head for a three-piece suite"
"This conversation is to him like his toupet: slightly above his head"
"A conversation with you, Baldrick, and somehow, death looses its sting"
"You wouldn't recognise a subtle plan if it painted itself purple and danced naked on an harpsichord singing 'Subtle plans are here again'"
"Leave me alone, Baldrick. If i'd wanted to talk to a vegetable i would have bought one at the market"
"If we do happen to step on a mine, sir, what do we do?"
"The usual procedure is to jump 200 feet up into the air and scatter oneself over a large area"
"If having your own career is a crime than so is not having a waist"
"That woman was so fat they had to tattoo zip codes on her thighs"
"A fat woman came clipclopping into my shoe store this afternoon. She said: "I want something I can feel comfortable in". So I told her to try Wyoming".
"She has spent more time staring at ceilings than Michelangelo"
"She has margarine legs: 'Easily spread' "
"Zelda!? You mean 'bury-me-in-a-Y-shaped-coffin' Zelda!?"
"If his sex drive were the norm the human race would be extinct"
"The only horny thing on him are the buttons on his coat"